Memories
by Blue.Empress
Summary: Everyone. His mind repeated again and again and again, until he had the word engraved in his mind so many times it was no longer even a word.
1. Chapter 1, Better Left Forgotten

Damon sat in the dark of the Boarding House, the wind combined storm outside had rain slamming sideways against the colored windows. It was eerie.

The dark flashed and Damon sighed in comfort, his tangle of muscle, limb, pale skin, and bone rested even further into the worn maroon leather of the Boarding House's library. Though he'd never admit it, he loved books maybe even more than Stefan... But he'd never admit it. Never in an eternity or two... Never how the smell of frayed pages reminded him of a better time, how the words brought a certain calming sensation to his old 19th century at heart- _mind_.

Damon _loved_ this weather. The sound and smell of rain and thunder combining with the sudden flash of power erupting from the gloom and cloudy sky was completely relaxing, beautiful in it's own darkly twisted way.

Just like him... He liked being alone in the dark of the storm, he always had. Ever since he was little.

He smiled a secret smile to himself lightening flashing bright enough to show his features both dark and mysterious, and as he dipped the Bourbon glass towards the opening which lead towards his throat and ended at his stomach... he thought lightly about his childhood... The boy with the raven curls and the bright lapis pools of iris.

He thought about how kind...Light-hearted... Good Humored... both selfless and selfish he had been as a human... How he became what he was now from what he had been when he was innocent. When he was in love with Forests and streams of Mystic Falls, when he wanted to explore the endless world.

When he wanted to leave and become someone new... Damon frowned his dark brows furrowed and perfect lips pouted, swallowed and realized with a sudden ironic pain that hit him.

He _had_ left. He _had_ become someone new... _Someone_ he couldn't even bare to recognize anymore. _Someone_ who wished beyond hope of any cure, to go _back_.

He bit his lip with concentration... Reaching out to find the switch which no longer existed... Which may have never existed in the first place.

Damon opened his eyes slowly, reluctantly, and he found he was being watched by pair of dark green eyes.

"Are you crying?" Stefan said. Jaw dropped astounded by his brother's trickling tear drop.

Frankly, Damon didn't give a goddamn if Stefan saw him crying... He never cared what anyone thought, until Elena.

Damon didn't even respond to Stefan's question. He didn't care, he didn't need to confirm the tear drops he wasn't aware he was producing... They were just _there_.

"They're all dead." Damon said with conviction. "_Everyone_."

Everyone Damon had grown up with. His friends and his enemies... His first kiss... The girl whom he'd lost his virginity to, was _dead_ in a grave somewhere.

_Everyone_. His mind repeated again and again and again, until he had the word engraved in his mind so many times it was no longer even a word.

Stefan sat down next to his strange brother and knew exactly what he spoke of, "Not dead. - not if we remember them." Stefan smiled lightly trying to cheer up his older brother.

"Don't be nice to me Stefan." Damon said boredly, his eyes dark blue in the night almost staring beyond Stefan as if he wasn't standing in straight in front of him, "_It just creeps me out_." he smirked at his joke and the annoyance it had caused Stefan whom held his hands up in surrender and walked away.

"I tried." Stefan said with a sort of white-flag look on his face as he left the room Damon resided in.

_It worked_. Damon thought just as Stefan abandoned him in the dark. _Yet again_.

* * *

><p>Damon and Mina giggled in synchronized muffled little laughs.<p>

Damon's pale face was younger seventeen, the hard edges of his angled cheek bones were softer, smaller, and his lapis pooled eyes full of innocence along with desire.

Mina was smiling brightly dark pink lips swollen from kisses curved into joy, her bright gray eyes were luminous in the light of the moon... Her dark wavy brown hair, fanned out almost black against the white ivory coverlets. Pale skin touching pale skin and eyes searching the others with wonder as they found another part of the others body which drove one crazy.

Damon admired her beauty as much as he admired her mind. Mina was mischievous and child-like, his perfect counter-part.

Or so they had _thought_.

They had escaped the prison-like confines of they're plantation homes together, now giving in to urges the elders would surely scold them for if they ever found out.

They would be forced to marry. Each one shuddered at the thought... They were only seventeen after-all.

But they never would. Damon and Mina were tricky young teenagers and sneaky too.

They sat in the grass of the forest meadow, laying on layers of stolen blankets hidden during the day months before by tree branches and twigs.

A loud rushing stream nearby covered the sound of them while they cuddled and messed about in the dark of the night, with but one dim lantern for light.

They didn't need much light. They had traced the other's shapes perfectly and knew each other personally.

"_Scoundrel_!" Mina called him playfully when he tugged at the strings of her already loose corset.

He glanced upwards towards her face, and smirked with mischief as he untied another ribbon and frowned.

Mina only giggled as Damon struggled with her corset.

"_You're_..." she trailed off with a laugh.

"Dashing? Gorgeous? _Irresistible_?" Damon said arrogantly as he slowly undid another ribbon on her bodice and than kissed the tip of her upturned nose.

"_Doing it wrong_." she corrected as she ripped the rest of her bodice off.

Damon shrugged. "As long as it's _off_." he said not minding at all.

Giggling, Moans, Mewls, and Whimpers ensued as the two young lovers became completely engulfed in each other.

* * *

><p>Young Damon sighed as he shut his study book, suddenly leaving his room whilst pulling on a blue coat. Fully intent on leaving the hell-hole which demanded he grow up and take his Father's place as the Plantation Owner. (If only for a few hours.)<p>

Damon's eye twitched abnormally at the hellish thought.

"_And just where do you think you're going my son_?" Giuseppe asked Damon who froze in his spot at the top of the stairway the second he heard his Father's uptight italian bred voice.

He absolutely _hated_ his Father's voice.

Damon rolled his eyes and spun around slowly, only to face the man he both loved and despised at the same time.

"About twenty steps down the stairs, and two more to reach the front door to get away from _you_." Damon answered smartly if not nonchalantly.

His Father whom was never amused by Damon's quick wit, only glared. "Back to your room_ to study_." He ordered. "_Now_."

_He no doubt thinks I'm a goddamn dog._ Damon's mind hissed as he pushed past the man whom constantly sought to make his life a living hell.

Damon's hopes to leave for a quick break in the spring sun were suddenly crushed by a large Fatherly foot, and as he walked begrudgingly back towards his room to study he eyed Stefan's doorway with smiting blue eyes. He grew jealous as he passed... Hearing the sounds of play going on the the care-free thirteen year-olds bedroom.

* * *

><p>Stefan equipped with a small candle to see in the dark watched Damon curiously as he tossed, turned, and mumbled randomly in his sleep. Stefan suddenly wondered if his elder brother had nightmares too or if he was just simply a spaz.<p>

"Brother." Stefan whispered nudging his thirteen year-old old brother. "_Damon_." he finally gave up the light approach and shook him awake.

Damon groaned lightly cracking a lapis eye open comically. "Stefan?" He yawned and stretched in the bed, ivory sheets tangling in his limbs as he moved. "What's the matter?" He slurred a bit in his tired speech his eyes weary lips drooping over oceanic irises.

Stefan would have laughed if he was not already scared.

"I had a bad dream." Stefan admitted sheepishly.

"Another?" Damon frowned worried, "Was it about vampires... _again_?" he yawned.

Stefan nodded pouting, Damon sat up and moved to the left side leaving the right side open for five year-old Stefan who climbed in afterwards.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you little brother." Damon pulled the blankets around the both of them facing each other and Stefan grimaced still unable to fall asleep.

"I know they're not real." he mumbled. "But they're scary."

"Not as scary as me." Damon corrected comically. "I _can_ be very scary you know." he grinned mischievously at Stefan.

Stefan giggled at that. "Sure."

"You think it's funny now." Damon poked at Stefan's belly. "_But_ _just_ _wait_, you'll _see_ what happens when vampires get on my bad side."

"You get _angry_?" Stefan said.

"No." Damon smirked. "I get _even_."


	2. Chapter 2, Sacrifice

_Set During; 'By The Light Of The Moon' _

_As the full moon approaches, Caroline helps Tyler prepare for the transformation he is powerless to stop. While Stefan and Katherine play mind games on one another whilst trapped inside the tomb, Damon and Alaric are suspicious when a stranger named Jules shows up in Mystic Falls, searching for her missing friend, Mason. Elena is frustrated at the lengths Jeremy and her friends have gone to in order to keep her safe. Bonnie and Luca work together on a spell, while still keeping secrets from one another. Finally, Elijah makes an unexpected appearance with an offer that could change everything. Sara Canning and Zach Roering also star. Elizabeth Allen directed the episode written by Mike Daniels._

_Written by someone on the CW Website, then copied and pasted by me; who was much too lazy to make her own summary._

_**:**Damon whilst stalking Elena outside her bedroom window contemplate's Elena's decison sacrifice herself To Klaus... Knowing with an annoying amount of Self-Hypocrisy, He can definitely relate. (Before Rose is bitten.)_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Unholy Non-existant God.<em> He thought swallowing another quick swig of Burboun from his flask_, I'm becoming a masochist, no wait... Worse I'm becoming a Stefan... Kill me now. _

He frowned and complained alittle more inside his head, he hated stalking humans. In his eyes they were boring and gross.

Elena was an exception to his; No stalking gross humans rule. She was currently on sucide watch, who knows? She might sneak out and find some other monster to kill her... She seemed drawn to the supernatrual, with any bad luck she could bump into a Darkling or maybe even a Incubus... Damon shuddered at the dark thought, remembering his own rotten luck with '_other'_ rather unfriendly (_Hostile_) creatures of the night.

Suddenly very glad he was nearer to the top of the food chain than most poor S.O.B.'s that became sucky monsters.

Damon tilted his head at an angle and grimaced. Nope. He could _still_ see Stefan.

He had hoped if he had changed the direction of his skull, he could cut Stefab out with the sharp edge of the window, but very unfortunately for him. Damon was still punished by the sight of his little baby brother and Elena Gilbert, spooning whilst sleeping under the soft ivory covers of her_ two person bed_.

Damon wondered with a kind of Parental Booing; W_hy on earth her parents would buy they're partying sixteen year-old a two person bed! _And yes he knew about Elena's past party-girl status. Blame it on Caroline.

He huffed, a rather pathetic nosie for a vampire of his power. Deciding he had quite enough torture for tonight... And that Elena wouldn't be sneaking off to find 'Klaus' anytime soon.

Jumping from his crow-like perch on the tree, almost too conveniently placed outside of Elena's window. He landed with a soft thud in a crouched position, which he slowly with almost cat-like movement rose up from.

Damon decided he would walk home and slowly started towards the direction of the Boarding House.

(He just _knew_ Rose would be there with an apology for almost getting Elena killed, and decided he would make her stew in her unforgiven state before he went and For- _didn't forgive her_.)

a thoughtful expression crossed the pale feature's of Damon's face, and he realized with a slight but nontheless burning irritation... That he completely understood Elena's stupid but completely selfless try at sacrificing herself to save the one's she loved, and he completely loathed himself for it. Feeling and Understanding should be left to the human population where it belonged not in the vast twisted depths of a truly evil vampire's mind.

"Humanity is a bitch." He thought outloud stuffing his cold hands into his black pockets.

Not that he was cold or anything. He just felt like it.

His mind wandered in his childhood home, as he treaded slowly back towards his new vampires lair.

* * *

><p>Damon snorted at his Father. "<em>Enlist<em>? _Stefan_?" he asked incredulously thinking of his younger brother, whom was only seventeen and away at the Boy's Academy but a year from graduation. (Damon remebered the same expensive Boarding School all too well, the strict tutors and boring stuck-up classmates had him reeling just thinking about it.)

Giuseppe shrugged as if Stefan's life were not in any danger. "After he Graduates. I cannot have the both of my sons skipping on their patriotic duty to the confederacy."

Damon forced himself not to roll his eyes in the presence of his parent. The Confederacy was a joke. The south would surely lose,

"You're not _truly_ serious Father." Damon's lapis eyes widened marginally and his dark eyebrows were rasied towards the ceiling, "Stefan has never even been outside of Mystic Falls, his fragile mind is only accustomed to books and fields." Damon was shouting now, "Sending him to fight would be sending him to his _death_!" Damon felt compelled to fight agaisnt this. He couldn't let Stefan go. He wouldn't allow his Father to do this.

Giuseppe glared at his eldest, jade eyes churning. "Thats for _me_ to decide _son_, this isn't a committee. Besides you can't go, you belong _here _you are the first son... _The sole heir_."

"_But_-" Damon tried to reach his Father make him realize what he was about to do...but was suddenly cut off.

"My decision is _final_ Damon. Now leave me."

Damon left his Father's poorly-lit study as quickly as he had entered it. The door slammed behind him and everything shook in his wake.

His Father's words rang in his mind and he _knew_ he had to do something.

_ "I cannot have the both of my sons skipping on their patriotic duty to the confederacy."_

* * *

><p>"What. is. <em>this<em>?" Giuseppe nearly growled as he pounded his fist and a volunteer note from the confederacy on Damon's desk with a boiling rage.

Damon stared down at the elegant calligraphy with grim sense of morality, on the dotted lines was Damon's own carefully written signature and date of birth, the stamp verified his acceptance into the army.

Damon looked up at his Father blue eyes clashing agasint dark green one's with grim humor shining dully in his lapis blue eyes, "You cannot have both of you're sons skipping on their duty to the confederacy. _Father_." he replied cooly.

_Yes. Damon knew of selfless self sacrifice. He understood. _


	3. Chapter 3, Happy Birthday

Damon smirked.

Stefan frowned.

Damon had dark black hair and lapis blue eyes.

Stefan had light caramel brown and dark jade eyes .

Damon drank.

Stefan grounded his teeth together.

Damon chuckled.

Stefan laughed.

Damon was prone to dark sarcasm.

Stefan was prone to dry jokes.

Damon slaughtered and hunted.

Stefan drained and killed.

Damon grew black winged raven feathers and flew, spying on those he _didn't_ trust and those he _did_.

Stefan grew brown hawk feathers and flew, attacking those whom would hurt the ones he sought to protect.

The brothers were opposites in everyway. Except one. They both wore the rings which bore they're family's crest.

Just a simple symbol. Bird wings which symbolized endurance and health, and a silver strip down the middle behind the wings which symbolized unity and family.

The stone under the silvery crest was a lapis lazuli stone. Stefan had always noticed it was the same color as Damon's eyes, it's how he knew if a stone was fake or not.

The silver could be engraved. Simple cursive S or D, depicting the first letter of their name. To anyone else it might seem the same ring if not for the small detail.

But it wasn't the first piece of jewelry they had shared.

* * *

><p>Stefan glanced down at his elder brother, whom sat idly sleeping under a wilow tree that Stefan climbed on his pale face covered by the protection of a rounded wheat colored hat which had a black silk ribbon fastened around it to give it a falsely proper look. Damon's neck slowly but surely tanning under the harsh light of the summer sun.<p>

a silver chain hung around the doomed skin of Damon's neck, a vervain locket which had belonged to they're Mother Stefan was used to seeing around Damon's neck.

He frowned when he realized the girls also playing nearby with tea-cups and picnic baskets had spotted his fourteen year-old brother.

They giggled and blushed and whispered. Stefan shook his head slowly as he realized; he was jealous.

Though he knew it was completely stupid, that Damon didn't even notice the effect he had on girls nor did he ever flaunt it. His jealously remained there.

Stefan huffed and continued climbing the tree.

He didn't blame the blushing girls, everyone saw his brothers handsome chiseled features. The lapis blue iries, pale skin, and dark silky sable hair which resembled their Mother and all of her dark beauty. Stefan knew what she looked like from the painting they're Father hid in the attic, He and Damon had snuck up there when they were much smaller.

Suddenly, a girl about the same age as himself approached Damon.

she nudged Damon until he woke up and pointed to Stefan with a small asking smile who blushed in embarrassment from being caught and looked away. When the little girl left, Stefan jumped from the tree and landed beside his smirking older brother.

"What did she want?" Stefan asked innocently.

Damon yawned and stretched slowly. "To say Happy Birthday."

"But it's not..." Stefan smiled slowly realizing almost stupidly the girl meant to say Happy Birthday to himself not Damon.

"I'm eight years old today." Stefan remembered and smiled brightly.

"Happy Birthday." Damon said again unfastening the silver chain.

When he was done he pulled the locket off and fastened it again, but this time on Stefan who with confused eyes tilted his head, "But, wasn't this was Mama's necklace?" Stefan said with an unsure look as he opened the sprig and found vervain nestled inside.

Stefan poked at the plant with annoyance. His crazy Father was always prattling on about vampires, he had even started randomly putting vervain in their pockets and it seemed that he had found his way into Damon's things and stuck the vile thing inside.

"Now it's yours." Damon shrugged indifferently and re-adjusted the hat he wore, smirking in amusement when Stefan flicked the purple vervain flower away.

* * *

><p>Stefan glanced at his ring which symbolized the end of his human life, than at Elena's vervain locket.<p>

The vervain locket symbolized protection for Elena. For Stefan? It symbolized family and the beginning of his sad life.

Elena smiled and squeezed the locket gently in her palm.

Damon only smirked. He _didn't_ even need to say what he was thinking, Stefan _already_ knew.

Stefan glared back. He knew _exactly_ what Damon was thinking, and he _didn't_ like it.


	4. Chapter 4, Bad News Baby Brother

Stefan dug through the things on his desk with urgency, he _needed_ to find the Deed to the house he took from Zack's room.

Elena and the lawyer would be here any minute, if he didn't have those papers... Suddenly he came upon a centuries old faded letter envelope, his family's crest was the imprinted on the red wax and it was addressed to himself from his brother.

He frowned in confused curiosity. Stefan quickly slipped the Envelope open and pulled out the worn paper opening it carefully to ensure he didn't rip it.

He pursed his lips, brows furrowed he Re-read the letter but not for the first time in hundreds of years.

* * *

><p>Stefan swallowed painfully at the elegantly written letter his elder brother had sent him only a day earlier.<p>

The letter was written perfectly as always, surprising due to the fact Damon was known to be one who stirred things too quickly.

He felt his eyes well up. Stefan's chest was painfully throbbing in both fury and sadness.

He Re-read it again but this time was the last.

**Dear Little Brother, **

**I know you're expecting a happy letter, one where I'll joke and complain until you're howling with laughter or something equally embarrassing. **

**_In fact_, I bet you get in trouble with the annoying little Prefects every time I send you one of these. _I very deeply apologize._ **

Stefan pursed his lips and _almost_ laughed.

**However, sadly this will not be one of those letters. I'm grim to say I've enrolled myself into the army, obviously I will not be present for your graduation. Though Father tells me a lovely orphan girl named Katherine who lost her parents in an Atlanta fire will be staying there by the time you're home, maybe she will keep you company. (Father must think he's such a saint for letting her stay, wonder what he's making up for?) **

Stefan could almost see Damon smirking at himself for the quip.

**They have ordered me to the nearest camp South-East of Mystic Falls on Monday, I wish you only the best and hope I'll return in one piece just enough to joke about how utterly stupid and reckless this decision was and I promise you'll even get a free punch in if I'm not injured or _worse_ grown up. **

**I know you're probably as furious with me as our dear Father (Whom I don't wish any of the best, hopefully he'll be in his grave or senile by the time I arrive home.), and I'm sorry I've disappointed you Little Brother. **

**Your Apologetic and Recklessly Stupid Loving Older Brother, Damon. **

**P.S. Okay two punches.**

Stefan crumpled the letter in his fist and grounded his teeth. Definitely more than just two punches for his Recklessly Stupid Older Brother, Damon.

* * *

><p>"Stefan, what in hell is taking you so long!" Damon growled from downstairs, breaking Stefan from his reverie with a sharp pang to his ears.<p>

Stefan shook his head, carefully stuffing the ages old letter into his front pocket before he spotted the Deed with a quick smirk and flashed downstairs with it in a vampire speeding blur.


	5. Chapter 5, Blondie

_ A long time ago, we used to be friends,  
>But I haven't thought of you lately at all.<br>If ever again, a greeting I send to you,  
>Short and sweet, to the soul I intend.<em>

_We Used to be Friends by The Dandy Warhols_

Elena watched Damon from across the Boarding House's '_Parlour_' (As Damon himself once called it.) while he searched through endless amounts of dusty things Elena couldn't understand the value of, then suddenly Damon's trademark smirk stretched across his pale lips and he flashed upstairs leaving Elena to furrow her brows in pure curiousty. They had been a vampire couple for a while now, when Stefan ran-away with Klaus... Things just kind of happened, Bonnie and the others weren't exactly happy with it. But Elena didn't care, she loved him. For all his many reckless yet passionate behaviors.

Elena followed him to his room and stood in the doorway, just watching as Damon carelessly pulled the painting of ugly old man in a top-hat out of it's elegant carved wooden frame and threw it over his shoulder like garbage, instantly replacing it with an old color-faded sketch.

Whomever the artist, they were definitely talented.

It was of a himself in Confederate uniform hugging shoulders with another handsome young man whom also dressed in the same war-garb, the sketch was perfect to Damon's many angles and you could tell the blue of his eyes was just right, even when the color was slightly faded... Except they were gentle and fresh, unlike the serene cyan pools of malice he had now. The other young man had blonde hair and with a pair of much darker hue of blue, eyes. They were serious but calm, completely at ease with a smile ghosting his lips contrasting against the silly smirk Damon had in the sketch.

The sketch was yellowed with age, and crinkled almost like it had been folded and re-folded again and again.

She frowned, her lips making a side-ways confused pout and she spoke, "Who is he?" she asked.

Damon placed the frame and sketch on the wall, "We used to be friends, a long time ago." he grew somber and Elena placed her hand in his comfortingly and squeezed.

Elena knew Damon, and when he was being cryptic... He didn't want to talk about it.

* * *

><p>It was dry and hot sunny day in September, the wind blew solemn a breeze through the dry brown leaves. Which just barely quivered and rattled almost soundlessly.<p>

Damon Salvatore and Jasper Fell sat under the dying shade of an oak tree clad in a dusty gray Confederate uniform, Damon napped his head cradled by his elbows while Jasper sketched in boredom.

Jasper drew two rolling interconnected circles which he decided suddenly to morph into faces.

"Jazz." Damon repeated for the 5th time.

Jasper finally gave in this time, giving his raven-haired an icy-glare fit for a king, "Call me that _again_." he dared Damon.

Damon smirked daringly, his cyan eyes shut under pale lids and spoke again, "Jazz." he said.

Jasper threw down both the drawing pad and his dull pencil in the same toss and tackled Damon, whom rolled over with Jasper on top of him.

They wrestled a bit before Jasper won. "_Loser_." Jasper teased pulling Damon up off the ground by his fore-arm.

"Rematch." Damon growled back.

"Nope." Jasper said smugly popping the P, giving Damon the same smirk his friend usually gave him.

"Fine. _Jazz_." Damon said.

Jasper's left eye visibly twitched, his fists tightened. "You're a dead man Salvatore." Jasper tackled Damon again.

* * *

><p>Damon looked over Jasper's shoulder, just as he completed a sketch he had started a few hours ago. "Excellent." Damon quipped in boredom.<p>

He wasn't surprised at the sketching skills his friend showed. Jasper had always been the artistic one, "You may as well have it." Jasper said with a sigh.

"Really, why?" Damon frowned.

"It's not right." Jasper pursed his lips and scowled, "You're teeth are much too sharp, they almost look like fangs." he poked a sharp finger at Damon's even sharper teeth.

Damon chuckled, "Then make me _without_ teeth."

Jasper rolled his cobalt orbs, "S'not that simple Damon." he crossed his arms.

Damon mimicked Jasper's eye roll, took up Jasper's abandoned pencil and erased his fang-smile... Replacing it with a much simpler drawn silly smirk. "There. Happy?"

Jasper yanked the writing tool from Damon's hand, "_Joyful_." he replied sarcastically, "Now stop leaning over me, you're irritating me." he waved his hand towards Damon's face in a shooing manner.

Damon laughed and huffed on his friends pale but freckled neck, causing Jasper to shiver and twitch in discomfort.

"_Ass_." Jasper mumbled and shook his head.

"_Blondie_." Damon shot back.

* * *

><p>Damon's jaw tightened as he crouched at the base of a lone gravestone, the stone was falling apart cracks etched into the weathered stone, small chunks had fallen off.<p>

**Jasper Lionel Fell 1841-1884**

**Beloved; Husband, Father, and Brother. May his soul rest in heaven forevermore. **


	6. Chapter 6, Where's Your Heart?

_Do you know where your heart is?_

_Do you think you can find it? Or did you trade it for something,_

_Somewhere- better just to have it?_

_Do you know where your love is?_

_Do you think that you lost it? You felt it so strong, but-_

_Nothing's turned out how you wanted_

_Say (All I need) by One Republic_

Aurora Damaris Bellasonia never wanted children. Never wanted to be a wife with a husband. She wanted independence, freedom. She wanted to go back to France where her heart was. But the France she knew as a young child was gone, her homeland tainted by The Revolution.

Aurora heard numerous horror stories from her elder Brother; Gaspard, about how Aristocrats and even Royalty were losing they're heads left and right.

She frowned at herself in the mirror, she was a beautiful seventeen year-old girl. She already knew this. and Men always noticed.

Aurora was young and slender, she also had perfectly soft porcelain skin; her sharp pale jaw framed by dark black silky waves which ended at her hips. Her facial features were even and aligned nicely... Her eyebrows plucked to gentle angles, the eyes bellow them were cyan jewels shining agaisnt the harsh contrast of her hair, nose upturned slightly, her lip a pouted into a rosey heart shape. Men would _only_ see her beauty, she was just a doll. Just a woman in a world ruled by men.

Verena her little sister was already married happily even if she and her husband had never even uttered a single word to one another, yet somehow now she was swollen with child. Smiling brightly as her belly grew fatter. Aurora was just glad her sisters husband wasn't abusive.

Everyone else crowded around Verena in appraisal and approval. Aurora just huffed. Though Aurora loved her sister, she never understood her.

She didn't want a child. She never thought she'd even be a good Mother... Aurora was selfish, spoiled, temperas, and reckless. No doubt she'd produce a baby of the same temperment and selfishness. Aurora wasn't capable of Motherhood... _Surely_.

Besides if she married, she'd have to stop being a child. Stop getting dirty and climbing trees and swimming in the lake. She'd have to grow up.

When Verena died of Childbirth. Aurora, in her grief and horror... Promised to herself she'd never suffer the same fate.

When she met Giuseppe Damon Salvatore, she was _not_ charmed. He was egotistical and passive, a cold fish and a boring one at that.

His dark jade green eyes were murky but full of ice, Caramel locks silky and pale skin perfect. He was no-doubt handsome.

Aurora didn't care. He was boring. He was pompous.

Giuseppe thought she was spoiled and un-ladylike. Calling her so, in her face.

"You're a child. Unladylike and untamed, I fear greatly for your future husband." he told her.

Aurora had never been so outraged. "How dare you!" she hit him with her fan.

He widened his frozen jade eyes when she poured her red wine on his head. Staining his clothes and drenching him.

He'd never met a woman so bold.

Aurora was surprised when he asked her Father if he could court her. Surely, just a few weeks ago and he'd hated her.

Aurora's Father accepted Of course. she could picture the dollar signs in his eyes.

Giuseppe was an heir to his Father's money. Only twenty-three, everyone wanted him. Except her.

"You're foolish." she muttered whenever he complemented her many traits.

"How so?" he would ask.

"I have an undesirable nature, sir. Everyone says so." She told him coldly.

"Everyone is blind and deaf." He would tell her.

She would blush.

When he asked her to marry him. She cried and ranaway. The poor man was heartbroken as he ran affter her.

"I thought you loved me." She wailed.

Giuseppe was at a loss for words.

"Don't you see you fool!" she cried, "Don't you understand what you are asking me to do?"

"I'm asking you to love me too." Giuseppe swallowed painfully, "I'm asking if you want my heart until I die."

"You're a liar." she sobbed.

"I would never lie to you Aurora." he promised.

When they were married. She cried again, but not because she was unhappy.

When they're first child; Damon was born, Aurora was joyous and Giuseppe worried. He'd always get nervous and ask if she felt ill.

She did. But only slightly.

Aurora never realized, but looking into the beautiful blue eyes of her son sparked selflessness and care. Motherhood came almost too easily.

Fatherhood did as well for Giuseppe, He adored his first son. Damon whom had dark black hiar, cherub cheeks, and deep blue eyes was easily accepted into his heart due to his Mother's features and reckless traits.

When she became pregnant again, she had miscarridged. Two times.

She became depressed. Locking herself in her room. She didn't want anymore children.

The last pregnancy bore Stefan a perfectly healthy baby boy. Damon was but four years old and he knew, something was wrong.

Giuseppe ignored it. He was in-denial. Aurora couldn't leave him... Couldn't just.. just die.

She was just sick, she'd fight it and be fine. The only woman whom ever held his heart would stay with him till they were both old and gray.

She was a fighter, she was energetic and wonderful and no god would take her away from him.

He cried, tears falling with his son at his side. When Aurora smiled and told them she loved them both and even Stefan whom had taken her life away from her.

When she died.

Giuseppe grew cold. Angry. He both loved and hated his sons and he despised himself. This was his fault.

Damon whom was once his favorite. Was now just an awful or wonderful reminder of the one whom he'd lost.

Stefan was her killer. Her last creation.

Damon grew to despise his Father. He became his Mother, reckless and impulsive... Playful, bold, and childlike. But with traits showing his Father.. His passive anger and his cold glint... Only showing these traits when his own Father was around to bully him.

Stefan became his Father. But better. He was shy and loving. Quiet and thougtful but responsible and serious.

Aurora never thought she'd love her children, she was wrong. She thought she'd never love her husband, she was wrong.

Aurora never thought her beloved husband would betray her and kill her children, she never thought Stefan would kill both his parents and turn his brother into an immortal as well... She never thought about anything beyond the confines of her tipping reality. Maybe she should have. Maybe she could have stopped them.

Stopped her husband from putting bullets through her sons hearts, Stopped her sons from fighting over a woman. _Or Maybe not._

_Well, bless my soul_  
><em>You're a lonely soul<em>  
><em>Cause you won't let go<em>  
><em>Of anything you hold<em>


	7. Chapter 7, Dear Mr Rose,

_(Sometime After 'The Hybrid'.) Elena is searching Damon's room while he's out, and finds something she never expected..._

* * *

><p><span>Crowded streets all cleared away<span>  
><span>One by One<span>  
><span>Hollow heroes separate<span>  
><span>As they run<span>

You're so cold  
><span>Keep your hand in mine<span>  
><span>Wise men wonder while<span>  
><span>Strong men die<span>

Show me how it end it's alright  
><span>Show me how defenseless you really are<span>  
><span>Satisfy an empty inside<span>  
><span>That's alright, let's give this another try<span>

If you find your family, don't you cry  
><span>In this land of make-believe, dead and dry<span>

You're so cold, but you feel alive  
><span>Lay your hands on me one last time<span>

It's alright-Breaking Benjamin, So Cold.

Elena taps her pencil almost lazily at the edge of her page of lined paper, with a deeply throughtful look on her face.

She's sprawled across Damon's large four-poster bed, her book-bag rested near her shoulder and sunlight streamed through the opened windows for extra light.

Normally. She would have immediatlly rejected the idea of this exact scene. But with the memories in her bedroom and Stefan's she couldn't concentrate on more important things. Like the summer homework she had for her English Honors Class- WHICH, she stupidly kept putting off because of both her new laziness and her latest supernatural dilemmas.

Damon's room was comforting somehow. Empty, not over-crowded like Stefan's room or full of memories like hers. Here she could concentrate.

Elena started tapping her pencil rapidly and biting her bottom lip, trying to think up the right word flow for her self-chosen essay on the life of a Southern Eighteenth Century Teenager From a Plantation and How they were influenced and other complicated things. She'd choosen the essay topic with enthusiasm, Stefan would be her main source... or Would HAVE been- Now that he was gone she only had the thesis, and now she was a little more than totally, utterly, and most definitely screwed.

She swallows with a deep pensive look on her face, tapping the pencil harder and faster. Realizing she should either ask Damon, whom of which danced around the subject of his humanity as if the subject were poisonous or ask a Libarian where the History section was... Just as she had thought up the best option, her pencil flung from her hand and landed on Damon's pile of books.

It lay firmly at the top, pale yellow against a new looking but still evidently old dark leather bound book. Elena scowled and reached for it, pausing her hand in midair when she noticed the Journal it laid upon. She quirked a brow, her pencil utterly forgotten she yanked the book from it's post and her pencil knocked to the floor.

Amongst the black leather, at the left hand corner bore a name elegantly written in silver. _Damon Demetrius Angelus Salvatore_.

She smirked, _Damon Demetrius Angelus?_ _Salvatore. _she thought with an inward laugh.

She hesitated but a second before opening the leather cover but preceded anway, Damon deserved it after how many times he'd read her Journal...

The first entry read: _To Damon with much love, Aunt Vera Happy Birthday Nephew may you have many more to come._

Elena was surprised, most woman in the century couldn't read or write... Well, as well as Damon's 'Aunt Vera' could. Her calligraphy and spelling was perfect.

* * *

><p><em>Feburary 17th, 1858. <em>

_Dear Mr. Rose, _

_Today, is my tenth and fives years Birthday. What a strange thing, to be older - yet still feel like a child. I do not consider myself an adult, I suppose I am far too immature and mischievous. Father says I get that from Mama, he says it's what he gets for letting her name me. ___Damon Demetrius Angelus_ _Salvatore almost seems too proper don't you agree? Though I harshly suspect he had part in Angelus... twas Grandfathers name of course. __

_I have named you- my Fifth Journal... After my Tutor, Aaron Rose. He has been my Tutor since I was five- He was hired by my Mother who the strong-willed woman she was refused to send me to a School where and I quote, 'Diseases spread like wildfire and children are beaten by wretched harlots with wooden sticks.' _

_My Father tells me most of this is true. (My Mother; Aurora and her two siblings, was rasied by mean French nuns when her French Aristocrat parents were beheaded for treason of some sort.)_

_Though I must admit my Fathers fear of my Mother was greater than that of his son being 'beaten by wretched Harlots with sticks.' I personally think if she asked him to wear his ass for a hat... He would have immediately just in sole fear of her wrath. __She died of consumption shortly after Stefan's birth, and all her used bed linens and clothes burned in fear of contracting the disease. I sometimes wonder if the reason why my Fathers acts so disconnected and cold is becuase of a broken heart, though I'm not stupid. Most do not Marry for love especially rich Southern Plantation owners like my Father. __I can only hope I do not suffer the same fate. Both, if possible. _

_I am learned in Reading, Writing, French, Italian, English, Math, and Science. Though I also have some Bible study on sundays, I'm not all that convinced so I usually fall asleep._

_Stefan Giuseppe Salvatore- My little brother of ten and two years is thoughtful and quiet, with eyes of jade and caramel colored hair. _

_While I bear a striking resemblance to my Mother with my black waves and lapis eyes- My brother bears instead the image of my cold and reserved Father._

_He seems to be Father's favorite. I cannot blame him, personally I think I like him better than myself sometimes. While he isn't as confident as I am or as loud he is modest, quiet, and honest with a vulnerability no one can truthfully resist... It's like looking into the eyes of a Dear, cautious and innocent. _

_Now that I think about it... I chuckle realizing he is my complete opposite. _

_He is passive. I am firey tempered... He is quiet... I loud. _

* * *

><p>Elena read in fasination as Damon poured his thoughts out onto paper, revealing his thoughts about his friends and family with an honesty and love of a bright very misunderstood young man... and sadly she realized she's never known this Damon, whose carefree voice and honest thoughts covered the pages.<p>

Along the pages were beautifully detailed drawings. Labled...

His Tutor, who was long and lean with a pointy chin and round-rimmed glasses that covered his face.

His Father, Tall, hard postured, with a tight set jaw and stern eyes.

Stefan, whose childish face was round and eyes bright somehow- filled with enthusiasm.

She never knew Damon had been such a good artist either...

"**Elena**, that'd better damn-well not be what I _think_ it is."


	8. Chapter 8, Who Wants To Die Next?

**_Childish Games._**

_Marbles._

_Tiddly-winks._

_Red-rover._

_Ring 'round the rosie._

_Tag._

**_Games_**. The kind Damon taught Stefan as a child weren't enough to prepare him for saving Elena- He didn't have Damon's stubborn will-power combined with his ferocious blind rage to aid him when Elena would refuse to listen to reason. (Or his utter devot selfishness in only wanting to keep _her_ alive.)

Stefan couldn't watch carelessly as the people she loved burned. Her tears became his tears.

He loved them too. He cared about **_all_** of them.

Damon only cared about Elena. Loved her with a reckless, selfish, abandon.

* * *

><p>He had Damon. Damon wouldn't fail Elena, Damon would protect her when he couldn't.<p>

"I'm going to head back to the house." He said feeling deadfully guilty after Jenna and John's funeral.

"I Think I'll skip the coffee and tea-cakes." Damon said something hidden in his voice and he fiddled with his ring- Almost as if absently trying to decide wether to pull if and burn off... or not.

Stefan thought about slapping him for it. _You can't leave me Damon_. He would say with a child-like fury.

Instead Stefan stuffed his hands in his pockets with a disappointed look as his brothers black-clad backside. "Damon she needs us right now... All of us." He hated being self-rightous- Nagging was something he knew Damon hated but Stefan didn't know how to be his little brother anymore and Damon was an ass for abandoning Elena when her Aunt and Uncle/Father just died.

Damon turned his head slightly giving his brother a sarcastic veiw of his ear, "And then what's the plan Stefan, the curse is broken- how dose one go about killing an all powerful wolf-vamp and his two face little brother." Stefan heard the grim defeat and was disturbed by his brothers lack of his usual dark enthuiasm. Something wasn't right.

"I have no idea." he replied woefully.

"We need to get an idea and fast." Damon spun around slowly. "I'm not going to let Elena lose anyone else." Stefan promised.

"I wouldn't make any promises brother." he said rolling up his sleeve.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Stefan asked suspicion clear in his raised eyesbrows and narrowed eyes as he looked Damon up an' down.

"Tyler Lockwood bit me." He had his sleeve fully rolled up now- and a large sizeable pulsing bite lay just after the indent of his elbow, the veins were begining to become corrupted by the venom and jutted out with an infected sickly look to them. "It's actually more of a nip really- but...sss There it is."

_No_. Stefan drew in a slow and let it out with a huffing breathe.

Stefan looked at Damon's werewolf bite with blank unseeing jade eyes, approching slow- his hand reaching out and grasping his brothers forearm for which seemed like better inspection of his wound but really was just a poor (Though carefully) hidden excuse for the only comfort and affection Damon would ever allow him. But Damon wouldn't even allow him that, he pulled away with a huff and Stefan just looked at him before Damon's dead blue eyes looked back and he looked away with unshed tears threatening to spill.

The look in his eyes was the same dead, grim, defeated look his voice had protrayed before and Stefan couldn't look at what was so clearly not his brother- Damon was reckless and passionate and his ice blue eyes smoldered with his burning personality.

The dead, defeated, so empty blue eyes weren't his brothers.

He couldn't save her. -Damon couldn't leave him.

"We'll find something, uh-" he looked back at Damon with his eyes wide with fear and with senseless childish promising- "A cure." he said begging Damon to believe him, but Damon didn't trust his brother anymore, "There is no cure Stefan." The empty eyes locked with his in defeat again and away. Stefan wanted him to look back but he couldn't force Damon to look him in the eye.

_Don't look away, don't you dare give up. _Stefan was almost at a loss for words until... He glanced back at Elena and rest filing away. For a split second hating Caroline and her stupid wolf boyfriend. But then letting the feeling go- Caroline was his friend, and this wasn't anyones fault.

Hope brimmed and he told Damon, "We kept Elena human." _No._ he said to himself, _he kept Elena human you closed your eyes as Klaus and Elijah took her away and killed Jenna. You trusted Elijah when Damon told you not to- Damon kept Elena alive. "_We found a way, when there was no way- Hey- I will do this." He looked Damon in the eyes, with the most truth he could display through his eyes he promised to cure him.

But Damon didn't believe him. "You wanna do something for me? Keep this from Elena." _Anything but that_, "The last thing she needs is another grave to mourn." Stefan searched Damon's eyes for hope... For his brother but Damon only grasped his brothers shoulder in what only could be a goodbye gesture. Stefan felt himself crumble as he watched his brother walk down the path of the graveyard and leave him behind again. W

A utter look of devastation and heartbreak cracking his features into sorrow his lips trembling and parting- His voice gone, words stuck in his throat.

He couldn't save Elena from her fate with his childish games. and maybe no one could.

But he could save Damon from his, he wouldn't disappoint Damon again. Never again- not when his life was at stake.

Maybe it was selfish and Damon would be better off dead, but Stefan wouldn't be better off alive if his only though questionably evil companion in his endless eternity wasn't there- He couldn't lose his brother twice, his heart couldn't bear anymore torment and he couldn't bear loneliness.

"I will save you brother." he murmered clenching his fists. _If it's the last thing I do._

* * *

><p>Damon burned like a supernova explosion in the midst of the starry night. There was no air around him or material for the fire to spread to and burn for fuel, he was tightly controlled but still sent shockwaves to other galaxies and nebulae disrupting but not destroying.<p>

He was dangerous. Only to be watched from afar, if he touched you... You'd become a million particles and atoms and be gone.

His thirst had never dominated him, his control only snapped when his fervent emotions got in the way and even then he had some degree of it left. He could have drained Jeremy that night with Elena, but no- he had only snapped his neck.

Rings healed and brought you back. They didn't supply you missing blood.

And no matter what he said about it Stefan would never believe he didn't see the ring, somewhere in his subconsious he'd known it was there.

Stefan knew this well, and also knew that in comparison he was but a candle flame unsteady and flickering.

He was candle flame whose light dwindled and when pushed, when he was eventually knocked down- he slowly and savagely burned his warm envrionment like the ripper he was- He fueled himself on his possessions (Friends) until nothing was left but emptiness and tragic self-loathing.

This time Lexi couldn't save him.

Klaus urged him to feed. The blood melting like the sweetest melting honey on his tongue-

he was in a frenzy now. He remembers the rhyme Damon sang with him as a child.

**Ring around the rosy,**

He drinks faster, reveling in the taste of the blood.

**_A pocketful of posies, _**

He smiles almost drunk. _"A Real Ripper Enjoys The Hunt."_ and he dose enjoy it, _enjoys every _bloody second.

**_"Ashes, Ashes"_**

He's burning everything in sight. Ripping people apart. Draining them.

**_We all fall down!_**

****He knows there is no turning back, this is for Damon afterall.

**_"Who wants to die next?"_**

_He's done with Childish Games. _


	9. Chapter 9, I'm not Stefan

_Damon reminds himself who he is, and realizes he's not himself anymore. During Disturbing Behavior and a few flashbacks. __First try at a Damon P.O.V. wish me lots'o luck. _

* * *

><p><em>"'I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir,' said Alice, 'because I'm not myself you see.'" <em>  
><strong>- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland, Chapter Five. <strong>

This will be forevermore be considered a _no-good-very-bad-day_. I fed and attempted bloody murder on Bill Forbes or as I like to call him Mr. Torture-Happy Father. Nobody called Stefan on it when he threatened to kill/turn John, but I guess since I'm me Elena has totally different rules. I'm even a feeling bit humilated I let a a seventeen year-old blonde little Daddy's girl kick my face to the floor. I'm kinda regretting not pushing Elena away that night at the carnival, and driving a stake through the little brats heart and ending her for good- But that's just how the cookie crumbles right?

_"You can't do this anymore Damon, Not here, not in this town, not around me!" _

_"Why not? Nothing I haven't done before. Why is it suddenly so important for everyone to keep me in check?"_

_ "Because I don't want you to be what other people think that you are!"_

_"What? A monster? Sorry to disappoint you, Elena but last time I checked I was still a vampire!"_

_"Yes, but I wish that you didn't have to act like one!"_

_ "I am NOT Stefan. How about you stop trying to turn me into HIM?"_

* * *

><p><em>"Mommy, why'd you name me demon." <em>

_"I named you Damon, darling." _

_"Yeah but George Lockwood says that means demon." _

_"That boy is more a demon than you will ever be with his quick temper besides- Damon is the opposite of Demon sweetheart, Damon's are angels." _

_"How strange, why didn't they give them different names entirely." _

_"I suppose the writers of the Bible weren't very creative." _

_"You don't believe in angels do you Mother?" _

_"I believe you're an angel." _

_"S'not the same thing though." _

_"Shh, don't tell you're Father or anyone else for that matter- people will accuse me of witchery I'm sure." _

_"You said witches aren't bad."_

_"They aren't but the people of this town are so ignorant of the darkness that they're a danger to themselves and everyone else." _

_"I don't understand." _

_Aurora sighed, "No I suppose you don't, but you will one day- though I hope not." she shut the drapes by his bedside and Damon snuggled under the covers as she tucked him in and kissed his cheeck. _

_"Goodnight, little angel."_

* * *

><p>"You need to take a beat with Elena."<p>

First of all who the hell says 'Take a beat' is that code for something idiotic and totally Alaric beacuse I don't get it.

Seriously? Who did this guy think he was? I was an one hundred and seventy one year old vampire with a Ripper-happy brother and a feisty little dopple-ganger crush who wouldn't sleep with me if I was the last man/vamp on earth and she was drunk out of her skull with brain damage.

Alaric didn't have to protect Elena from me, Elena didn't need protection from me and the idea she would under any circumstances was downright insulting. I thought we were friends Ric. Guess not.

He really deserved that neck-snapping.

* * *

><p><em>"Think before you act son." <em>

_"But Father! He punched me first." _

_"And if he hd kissed you what would you have done?"_

_"You're just being funny now Father." _

_"If I'm not funny then I'm not anything." _

_"Haha." _

_"That was fake laughter Damon, it serves only to be more humilating." _

_"But that was the purpose dear Father." _

_"You think you're adorable don't you?" _

_"Nope you do, and I'll use that to my advantage." _

* * *

><p>I have a temper everyone knows that, and when control runs short they should run like they're supposed to not stand in the way.<p>

_'Can't they see? You're smothering me. Holding too tightly. Afraid to lose control.' _

**_-Linkin Park, Numb. _**

****I'm tired of double-standard. Vervain in the water system to Keep me in control? Everytime I'd take a shower I'd burn my... well, Everything.

Screw that.

Little blonde vamp is younger than me, she'd probably die of vervain posioning as she took a bubble bath.

Not that I really... Care. or anything.

When I discovered Caroline's father is immune to being compelled, I want to kill him not invite him to breakfast watch as he poured vervain in my water supply and showed everyone else his little mind trick, but Alaric and Elena stand in the way, much to my annoyance.

And _Snap_.

Ric's dead but not really _dead_.

Elena freaks out and calls barbie to come save Daddy.

Caroline gets a punch in and everyone's looking at me like the monster that I am.

(I'm not so sure I am anymore.)

Stefan needs to get his ass home before I start throttling, everyone of them in their stupid sugar plum dreaming sleep.

Goddammit now I'm hungry.

* * *

><p><em>"Big Brother whats a vampire?" <em>

_"Not real." _

_"Are you sure? Father says so." _

_"Father's a mad-man, truthfully I'd rather have a real horde of vampires in town than a maniac for a Father." _

_"He says those flowers will protect us." _

_"Do you really believe that a flower will protect you? Besides the fact they're ugly and smell awful- what could they possibly do to a vampire?"_

_"Father says it burns them like holy water would a demon." _

_"Demons aren't real either Stefan." _

_"Oh? How do you explain-" _

_"Stefan I'd love to explain all of that- but I'd really rather not, you can ask questions when you're dead. nNw stop following me around like a lost puppy and play with you're friends." _

_"Do I annoy you brother?" _

_"You have no idea." _

_"I'm telling Father!" _

* * *

><p><em>"You are the one that I despise. You are the light, I am the vampire." <em>

**-People in Planes, Vampire. **

Stefan needs to re-read the script, I'm not a hero and he's definitely not the villian.

I can't do this. I can't save Elena alone, and I can't be the good-guy.

I'm only good at being bad.

Sorry to disappoint you little brother.

Guess the little sucker understands how I felt when we were children and he followed me around.

Little Victories I suppose.

(Ugh the ass even killed Andie, I hate when he breaks my toys.)


	10. Chapter 10, Winter

_The most depressing story I've ever written, You'll be emo and cutting yourself by the end of it. _

_Various stages of Damon's lonely Father-less childhood until Stefan is Seventeen and Damon is twenty-three. _

* * *

><p><strong>Winter Wonderland<strong>

_...::I see skies.. of blue::... _  
><em>:...And clouds... of white...:<em>  
><em>...The bright blessed, day,...<em>  
><em>:::::The dark sacred, night.:::::<em>  
><em>:::::And I think to myself,::::::<em>  
><em>::::What a wonderful world.::::<em>

_::::::::::::_

_:::_

_;_

_**-Louis Armstrong, What a Wonderful World.**_

**D**amon smirked, his lips reddened from the cold, curved into a smirk and giggled a chiming bubbly sound as he patted the cold snow in his small silk gloved hand. He wore

Watching the snow flow up in little flurries in the air as he blew softly on his palm.

Bright cerulean eyes glowed.

Damon was jubilante, his favorite time of the year had just begun and there was already snow covering Mystic Falls like an ivory blanket

"Damon Darling, if you get too cold tell me- We'll go back inside." her french accent slipped and Damon gave her a little white teethed grin.

"Je suis assez chaude Mère."

_(I am warm enough Mother.)_

"Lovely, Lovely, little boy." She smiled brightly.

"Lovely, Lovely," Damon mimicked jumping in the snow his tiny boots leaving deep prints in the ice.

"When there's snow on the ground- I like to pretend I'm walking on icy clouds."

"You're silly Mama."

Aurora lifted Damon up in her slender arms to kiss him on the cheek, and he gave a whine of complaint.

"Did you know you were born in Winter?"

"Oh yes, my Birth-date is January third." Damon said smartly, wiggling in his Mothers arms in an effort to get himself free from her encaging arms.

"If you want down you must ask."

"I demand to be put down. Please."

"There you go, much better."

* * *

><p><strong>Dead Winter<strong>

_"The world seems not the same, though I know nothing has changed. It's all my state of mind." _  
><strong>Within Temptation, Pale. <strong>

**D**amon watched without emotion as the children who he'd once called his playmates swarm the fields and made snowmen and began snowball fights, last summer had changed everything. At least for the Salvatore Family.

It had taken everything too, and now the cries of a sad mother-less child born just last september filled the Veritas Estate.

The home where Damon had once adored to be.

And as his Father drew further and further away from Damon with his cold demenor and impatience with him.

He felt more alone in the world than he'd ever felt in his entire life.

So here Damon watched with desolate ice eyes as the Mother's and Father's of Mystic Falls tended to their children with loving care.

and he was ignored.

* * *

><p><strong>Dispirited Winter <strong>

_"I shot for the sky, I'm stuck on the ground. So why do I try? I know I'm gonna fall down. _

_I thought I could fly, so why did I drown? I'll never know why it's coming down, down, down." _

**- Down, Jason Walker.**

**D**amon smiled slightly, the smile was a rare one. He'd made the perfect snowman.

The three sections of its body perfectly round, the smile perfectly set and the nose was just the right orange carrot he was so proud.

"Father, Father look!" Damon tried to gain his attention from behind his snow-man with no luck.

Giuseppe was far too busy with little Stefan, whom had just turned five years last september.

Needless to say his Father adored Stefan.

Perhaps his Father was a narcissist, after all Stefan had his green jade orbs and rare silken caramel hair.

Damon finally peeked his head around his finely crafted snowman only to find his Father helping Stefan build a tiny snowman.

A proud look of adoration and a happy smile was bestowed upon his little brother, a look he'd never been given except by his Mother.

Damon felt a tightening in his throat. His smile vanished and he kicked the snowman until the snow was just a bunch of slush.

"Stupid boy." His Father growled, "You've covered me in ice!"

Damon rolled his eyes and with crippled anger and marched back into the house, but his eyes watered.

_"Can't find another way around. and I don't wanna hear the sound... of losing what I never found."_

**-Down, Jason Walker.**

* * *

><p><strong>Friendly Winter<strong>

****_"It's not that easy being green." _

_**-Kermit, Sesame Street.**_

**S**tefan watched with sad jade eyes as his older brother kicked his own snowman down and marched back inside the house.

He had made his Snowman to make Damon happy, and it had only made him more unhappy.

He'd seen the flash of a smile, and then like lightening flees the sky so did his smile.

His eyes were dark and desolate and his face scrunched up, in what Stefan knew to be Damon's strange angry version of melancholy.

Did his Father not notice how upset Damon was? Did he not care?

Giuseppe wiped off snow with quick hads, his face fixed into a disappointed glare at his eldest son.

And Stefan started crying.

* * *

><p><strong>Smoldering Winter<strong>

_"In the depths of winter, I finally learned there was in me was an invincible summer"_  
><strong>-Albert Camus quotes<strong>

Damon rode his black mare Artemis out on to the snowy field like every other day, watching with careful cerulean eyes as snow fell and covered the ground.

The cold was brisk and bitter but not unbearable, though his horse still whinied in protest as she trotted.

Damon had been yelled at again, his Father only had words with him when he was scolding him otherwise he ignored him.

Damon found it almost amusing how much Guiseppe spoiled Stefan the way that he did.

Stefan disliked their Father more than Damon did. It was almost sad.

He chuckled and smiled brightly, not that he cared.

"Brother, Brother!" Young Stefan called, "Wait for me."

Glancing behind him he saw his little brother on his own horse Mezzanotte, "Stefan hurry, we won't see the Lockwood's fireworks if you don't."

"We wouldn't want that!" Stefan said with a smirk.

"Just becuase last year George set you on fire..."

"Don't even Damon, I don't want to speak of it lest more bad luck ensues."

"Fine but I did warn you George was a klutz."

"Yes, afterwards."


End file.
